Vinesh Phogat pens emotional note on her journey, family struggles and farewell to wrestling
New Delhi, August 16: Following the dismissal of her plea for an Olympic medal by the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) and the announcement of her retirement from wrestling, former Indian wrestler Vinesh Phogat opened up on her journey in life, both as a person and an athlete and thanked people who helped her throughout it.
On Wednesday, the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) released a statement to confirm that, “The application field by Vinesh Phogat on August 7 has been dismissed.” Vinesh was set to face Sarah Ann Hildebrandt of the United States for the gold medal on August 7. She was disqualified before the women’s 50kg final after exceeding the 50kg weight limit before the final on August 7.
During the weigh-in, she was found to be 100 gram over the limit. Following her disqualification, Vinesh appealed for the silver medal in the 50kg weight category. On August 8, Vinesh penned an emotional to announce her decision to retire from wrestling. “Maa kushti (wrestling) won against me, I lost. Forgive me, your dream and my courage have been broken. I don’t have any more strength now. Goodbye Wrestling 2001-2024. I will always be indebted to you all for forgiveness,” Phogat said in her post.
Now speaking in a new post on X, Vinesh opened up on how she did not even know what the Olympics were as a “small girl from a small village” and all she dreamt was of “long hair, flaunting a mobile phone” and other things that any young girl would do.
“Olympic rings: as a small girl from a small village I did not know what was the Olympics or what these rings meant. As a small girl, I dream of things like long hair, flaunting a mobile phone in my hand and doing all these things that any young girl would normally dream of,” said Vinesh.
Talking about her father, a bus driver who passed away when she was young and her mother, who is suffering from stage three cancer shortly after her husband’s death, Vinesh said, “My father, an ordinary bus driver, would tell me that one day he would see his daughter fly high in a plane while he would drive on the road below, that only I would turn my father’s dreams into a reality. I do not want to say it, but I think I was his favourite child because I was the youngest of the three. When he used to tell me about this I used to laugh at the absurd thought of it, it did not mean much to me. My mother, who could have a whole story written on the hardships of her life, only dreamt that all her children would one day will live a life better than she did. Being independent and her kids being up on their own feet was enough of a dream for her. Her wishes and dreams were much more simple than my father’s.”
“But the day my father left us, all I was left with were his thoughts and words about flying in that plane. I was confused about its meaning then but held that dream close to me anyway. My mother’s dream was now farther away because a couple of months after my father’s death she was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. Here began the journey of three kids who would lose their childhood to support their single mother. Soon my dreams of long hair, a mobile phone faded as I faced the reality of life and got into the race of survival,” she added.
Vinesh said that this race for survival taught her a lot and witnessing her mother’s hardships, “never say die and fighting spirit” made her the person she is today.
“She taught me to fight for what is rightfully mine. When I think about courage I think about her and it is this courage that helps me fight every fight without thinking about the outcome,” she added.
Vinesh said despite a difficult road ahead, the family did not lose their trust in god and felt that the right things were planned for them and coming of her husband, Somvir, who she called as her “best friend for life”, only proved it.
“Somvir has taken every place in my life with his companionship and supported me with each role he took. To say we were equal backers when we faced a challenge would be wrong, for he sacrificed at each step and took my hardships, shielding me always. He placed my journey above his and offered his companionship with utmost loyalty, dedication and honesty. If not for him, I cannot imagine being here, continuing my fight and taking each day head-on. This is only possible because I know he is standing with me, behind me and when needed in front of me, always protecting me,” she added.
Vinesh said her journey has let her meet a lot of people, “most good and some bad” and added that a lot has happened over last 1.5 and two years that has kept her off the mat.
“My life took many turns, felt like life took a stop for good and there was no way out from the pit we were in. But the people around me had honesty in them, they had goodwill and massive support for me. These people and their faith in me was so strongly grounded, it is because of them that I could continue through the challenges and get through the past 2 years,” she added.
Coming to people who worked with her in her career, Vinesh thanked Dr Dinshaw Pandiwala, Dr Wayne Patrick Lombard, Woller Akes and Ashwini Jeevan Patil.
On Dinshaw, Vinesh said, “This is not a new name in Indian Sports. For me, and I think for many other Indian athletes, he is not just a doctor but an angel in disguise sent by god. When I had stopped believing in myself after facing injuries, it was his belief, work and faith in me that got me back on my feet again. He has operated on me not once but thrice (both knees and one elbow) and has shown me how resilient the human body can be. His dedication, kindness and honesty towards his work and towards Indian Sports is something no one will doubt including God. I am forever grateful to him and his enticed team for their work and dedication. As a part of the Indian contingent having him present at the Paris Olympics was a god’s gift for all fellow athletes.”
On Dr Wayne, Vinesh said his kind, patient and creative approach towards handling complicated injuries helped her get far in her career.
“He has helped me through the most difficult journey that an athlete faces not once but twice. Science is one side, no doubt about his expertise, but his kind, patient and creative approach toward handling complicated injuries has gotten me so far. Both the times I was injured and operated it was his work and efforts that made me bounce back from the bottom. He taught me how to take one day at a time and every session with him has felt like a natural stressbuster I see him as an elder brother, always checking on me even when we were not working together,” added Vinesh about Wayne.
On Woller Akes, her personal coach, Vinesh termed him as the best coach in all of women’s wrestling and had plans for every situation. She also said that the coach helped her overcome self-doubt.
“He was more than a coach, my family in Wrestling. He was never hungry to take credit for my victory and success, always humble and taking a step back as soon as his work was done on the mat. But I want to give him the recognition he much deserves, whatever I do will never be enough to thank him for his sacrifices, for the time he spent away from his family. I can never repay him for the time lost with his two small boys. I wonder if they know what their father has done for me and if they understand how important his contributions have been. All I can do today is tell the world that if it had not been for you I would not have a done on the mat what I have done,” added Vinesh.
On Ashwini Jeevan Patil, her physio, Vinesh said she felt “immediate security” with the way she took care of her since the first day they met in 2022.
“Through the past 2.5 years she went through this journey with me like it was her own, every competition, win and loss, every injury and rehab journey was hers as much as it was mine. This is the first time I met a physiotherapist who has shown this much dedication and reverence towards me and my journey. Only the both of us really know what we went through before every training, after every training session and in the moments in between,” said Vinesh.
Thanking Tajinder Kaur, her nutritionist, Vinesh said her journey of weight loss post-surgery for the past year was as challenging as the rehab for her injury she had to cut 10 kilograms of weight while taking care of herself and preparing herself for Olympics.
“I remember when I first told you about playing in the 50kgs category and the way you reassured me that we would achieve this while taking care of the injury simultaneously. It was your persistent encouragement and your reminders about our goal, the Olympic gold, that helped me get through the weight cut,” she added.
The Olympic Gold Quest (OGQ) team also found a mention in Vinesh’s letter, as she noted their contribution in Indian sports’ upward journey and how they continuously backed Vinesh amid her injuries and struggles during the wrestler’s protest.
“Not a day passed by without them checking in, making sure I was safe, progressing and on the right path. Me and my many fellow athletes in this generation are very very lucky to have OGQ, an organisation made up of and founded by some legendary athletes who take care of us,” she added.
On Olympic medalist and India’s Chef-de-Mission for Paris Olympics, Gagan Narang and the Olympic support staff, Vinesh said she met Gagan in close acquaintance for the first time and found his kindness and empathy to be important in big-game situations.
“I want to appreciate the genuine efforts of the entire team that worked day and night for the Indian contingent in the Games Village. The recovery room team, masseuse was something I had never experienced in my entire career during the games,” she added.
Vinesh noted that during the wrestlers’ protest, she was fighting hard to “protect the sanctity of women in India, the sanctity and values of the Indian flag”.
“But when I look at the pictures of me with the Indian flag from 28 May 2023, it haunts me. It was my wish to have the Indian flag fly high this Olympics, to have a picture of the Indian flag with me that truly represents its value and restores its sanctity. I felt that by doing this it will correctly reprimand what the flag went through and what wrestling went through. I really was hoping to show that to my fellow Indians,” she added.
On a concluding note, Vinesh said when she was preparing for the Olympics final and was above the weight limit, her team did not give up, but rather the clock stopped. She also noted that the time and her fate were not “fair”.
“To my team, my fellow Indians and my family, it feels like the goal that we were working towards and what we had planned to achieve is unfinished, that something might always remain missing, and that things might never be the same again. Maybe under different circumstances, I could see myself playing till 2032, because the fight in me and wrestling in me will always be there. I cannot predict what the future holds for me, and what awaits me in this journey next, but I am sure that I will continue to fight always for what I believe in and for the night thing,” she concluded.